AN EPIPPHANY FROM A JOURNAL ENTRY ENTITLED: I Raised Sea Turtles and Octopi May 2026

 

(This scene allowed for a release, that moment of cannibalism occurred and now I am cleansed at least for a while.  A question would be is it still considered cannibalism if the alter is a different species???  It’s now May 9^th, 2026, at 12:05am and finally this trauma revealed itself and moved from the amnesic mind through my subconscious and into my consciousness.  To me it’s reminiscent of the sandskiff that is required to pass through the fold on the Netflix Shadow and Bone series.  It’s a treacherous and perilous journey and you will be attacked it seems but once you make it through to the other side then you’re safe.  The fold represents the transitional spaces between my amnesic mind and the subconscious and then between there and my consciousness.  My ship is different each time since it’s an image that I wait for and then ride through to release of that pain.  The movie ‘Lil Shop of Horrors’ where the plant pleads “feed me Semore” comes to mind as my psychosomatic pain is demanding it be satiated with trauma and it will feed for as long as I allow it to.  The pain will just build, and the depression will follow and somewhere in there a psychosis will occur.  I have been enduring this pain since the beginning of May and continually came up with null and void when it came to a skiff to ride to release.  I stayed on task and made sure that I slept and ate, which gave me energy and then I chipped away at immovable walls and opened doors that led to one small clue until finally I hit the right door and began my journey through the fold and toward the end of one journey.  I hope one day that my writing will help others, but these journeys take such high IQ and EQ strengths and variables knitted through out my genetic code that I am not sure how those that are fundamentally different to me could prevail.  As Freud and Jung shined a flashlight in the dark I have but a candle in my heart.  Find me, follow me, and I hope to lead you to the end.  But if not, we could still part as friends.  WHERE ARE MY KIDDOS WHEN I NEED THEM LOLOLOLOL.  MANY HAVE CHECKED IN AND ALL ARE IN BED.  TUCKED AWAY IN COVERS THAT THEY PULLED OVER THEIR HEAD.  A PUPPY OR TWO YAWNS IN THE NIGHT I WILL SEE THEM ON WEDNESDAY I AM TOLD AS WE PART FOR THE NIGHT.)