CPTSD cold case

    TRAPPED IN A COFFIN WITH A ZOMBIE GLENDA WOULD ATTACK OTHER WOMEN WITH SUCH HATRED THAT THEY NEEDED MEDICAL ATTENTION SHE COULDN’T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN SO SHE WOULD GET ROBERT INVOLVED.   THIS TURNED THEM BOTH ON AND THEY WOULD HAVE SEX ATOP THE DYING OR DEAD WOMAN.   GLENDA WULD SIT ON THE SMALL OF THEIR BACK AND PULL ROBERT TOWARD HER.   ROBERT COULDN’T SEE THE WOMEN BELOW BUT HE COULD HEAR HER SUFFER OR HER BODY EMMIT AIR.   THE SOUND OF SUFFERING WHILE THEY HAD SEX TURNED THEM BOTH ON AND MADE GLENDA ORGASM VERY LOUDLY.   THIS HAPPENED INSIDE THE MASTER BEDROOM ONCE THE WOMAN WAS STRANGLED AND THEN ANOTHER TIME WHEN THEY HAD DRAGGED A WOMEN THAT GLENDA WAS MAD AT OUT OF THE TRUNK.   AFTER THEY COMPLETED THIS ACT IF THE WOMEN WASN’T DEAD THEN ROBERT WOULD FINISH HER OFF.   ROBERT WOULD BUSY HIMSELF GETTING RID OF THE BODY AND GLENDA WOULD COOK HIM A MEAL AND THIS WOMAN RARELY COOKED SHE WARMED THINGS UP BUT DID NOT COOK. I W...

    TOO MANY VICTIMS FROM ONE FAMILY TODAY I AM SORE AND HAVE BEEN SLEEPING FOR THE LAST 3 DAYS JUST TOO EXHAUSTED TO GET OUT OF MY RECLINER, NO JOKE I SLEPT 20 HOURS A DAY.   RIGHT NOW, MY PAIN IS ABOUT AN 8 AND MY LEGS ARE SOREST FOR WHAT EVER REASON.   I HAD A HUGE FLASHBACK LAST NIGHT I HAVEN’T HAD ONE THIS BIG IN SOME TIME.   IT HAS EXHAUSTED ME SO MUCH THAT JUST STANDING TAKES WAY TOO MUCH ENERGY.   IT’S THE OUTSIDE OF MY QUADS THAT HURT THE MOST AND THE MIDDLE FINGER OF BOTH HANDS LEADING INTO THE CENTER OF MY PALM.   I COULD FALL ASLEEP RIGHT HERE AT STARBUCKS IF I LET MYSELF.   MY LAST TRIP HERE MADE A LOT OF CONNECTIONS BUT NO RELEASES JUST INTENSIFIED MY PAIN. THIS WHOLE SAGA IS LIKE A PSYCH INVESTIGATION WHERE MY SUBCONSCIOUS HOLDS EVIDENCE THAT IT SLOWLY LEAKS OUT WHILE MY CONSCIOUS PUTS THE CLUES TOGETHER.   IM BUILDING PROFILES ABOUT KILLERS BASED ON WHAT I LIVED THROUGH AND PAINSTAKINGLY DISCOVER OVER TIME AS MY MEM...

    THE LONELINESS IS HUGE TODAY MY LONLYNESS IS HUGE ITS JUST POUNDING UPON ME WITH IMMENSE INTENSITY.   I HAVE TIRED TO SHARE WITH THE BIOLOGICALS THROUGH TEXT AND NO REPLY.   I WENT TO LUIGIS FOR A BIG MEAL OF SPINACH SALAD AND LINGUINE AND WHITE CLAM SAUCE WITH LOTS OF BREAD AND DR. PEPPER.   THIS MEANS THAT I RAN BACK TO OLD BEHAVIOR TO DEAL WITH THE PSYCHOSYMATIC PAIN.   THIS PAIN HAS BEEN PROFOUND AND INESCAPABLE MY LEGS AND BACK HURT SO MUCH LAST NIGHT THAT I COULDN’T SLEEP.   I HAD TO GET UP AND GO TO THE RESTROOM MANY TIMES AND EACH TIME I HAD TO REPOSITION PILLOWS AND TOWELS TRYING TO GET THE RIGHT ANGLE SO THAT I COULD SLEEP.   RIGHT NOW, I AM AT STARBICKS ACCOMPANIED WITH EDDIE TRYING TO JOURANL THIS OUT AND GET FREE FROM ALL OF THIS WEIGHT. I HAVE A THEORY THAT ROBERT WENT ON THE GREEN CAR RAMPAGE SINCE HE FELT THAT IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL THE COPS CAUGHT HIM.   THAT’S WHY HE FOUGHT SO HARD TO AVOID ARREST ...

    THE FIRST ENTRY OF 2024 WHILE PONDERING ABOUT MY PAST I HAVE BECOME AWARE THAT I HAVE HAD SUICIDAL IDEATIONS ALL OF MY LIFE.   ITS BEEN DIFFICULT THIS LIFE OF MINE AND THE ABUSE STARTED AT SUCH AN EARLY TIME IN MY LIFE.   I REMEMBER WHEN EITHER OF THE HATERS WOULD BEAT ME AND THE TUNNEL OF LIGHT STARTED TO CLOSE AND THE DARKNESS ENVELOPED ME I FELT I WAS GOING TO DIE.   THEY WERE SAYING THE WORDS THAT THEY WHERE GOING TO KILL ME AND I BELIEVED THEM.   THEN I WOULD BE SO CONFUSED WHEN I WOULD WAKE UP EITHER WHERE THEY LEFT ME OR SOME PLACE WHERE THEY HAD MOVED ME.   I FELT SO MUCH MORE PAIN WHEN I AWOKE AND THAT PAIN INTENSIFIED THE FOLLOWING DAY AND PEAKED AT VARIOUS TIMES DURING THE HEALING CYCLE.   WHEN SCRATCHES SCABBED OVER OR THE BRUISES HAD HEALING RINGS AND I WOULD BUMP SOMETHING AND CAUSE THEM TO RADIATE IN PAIN.   THE SORNESS AFTER A BEATING WAS JUST SO INTENSE AND MADE IT WHERE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO MOVE AND YOU DEFIANTLY ...

    REMINDED ABOUT MY ABUSE DEFICITS TODAY AT LUNCH WITH EDDIE HE ASKED ABOUT MY ABUSE ISSUES AND I EXPLAINED TO HIM HOW I WAS A REALLY SMART YOUNGER CHILD WHO MY NANA AND MAMMY WOULD SHOW OFF TO THEIR FRIENDS WHO WHERE RETIREED TEACHERS.   I REMEMBER SITTING ON NANA’S BED AND ALL THESE OLD WOMEN WOULD WATCH AS SHE WOULD PUT THE GOLDEN APPLES ON THE BED AND HAVE ME COUNT THEM AND THEN SUBTRACT THEM.   SHE WOULD HAVE ME RECITE MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER.   THEN SHE WOULD HAVE ME NAME FRUITS AND COLORS.   THEY WHERE ALL IMPRESSED AND I KNEW SO MUCH MORE EVERYDAY BECAUSE NANA SPENT TIME WITH ME.   THEN THAT DAY CAME WHERE GLENDA GOT MAD AND ROLLED FAST AND BRAKED HARD INTO NANA’S FRONT YARD NOT THE DRIVEWAY BUT THE FRONT YARD.   SHE WAS ANGRY AND SCREAMING AND SHE GRABBED ME AND THREW ME INTO THE CAR AND WE LEFT.   ALL THE WAY HOME SHE YELLED AT ME, PUNCHED ME AND PULLED MY HAIR.   WHEN WE GOT TO THE HOUSE WHICH WAS NOT THE IRVING...