JOURNAL ENTRY: A MOTHERS VOICE OF CONTEMPT 2026

 

My last vision was that sauce pouring over my nana’s face and covering her right eye.  I thought that had been blood and that I had just witnessed Glenda kill nana.  I made it out to the porch and then turned right and was fighting for air as my ribcage spasmed and wouldn’t expand.  I fell off that ledge that unites these two houses and took the branches of this small tree with me.  Then I rolled in the grass and tried to make distance.  At first, I thought about the opening that leads to below nana’s house and at the same time I heard Glenda bellowing my name like it was a battle cry for the Jews to come back to the concentration camp to be slaughtered.  She had this power of a mother, even when you were attempting to escape her savagery.  Glenda could make you doubt your decision with a sense of obligated guilt.  Like a cunning man who practices domestic violence upon an innocent eventually he will break them and have them believing that all of this was their fault.  I believed that I should go back before I caused more trouble since in my mind hadn’t, I caused enough trouble by now.  Then I heard nana’s voice she must have made it outside and she was screaming “run” again.  That magic worked and I was up and moving at a walking speed as I crossed the small backyard and fell into the underbrush close to the wooden shed that occupied that area.  Then as I lay on my back and attempted to muffle my breathing, I could see the silhouette of Glenda working her way around the thicketed area.  As she used that soft kind voice she so often used to lure me into a trap.