JOURNAL ENTRY : MY SUFFERING HAS BEEN CONSTANT 2026

 

My suffering has been constant since my last entry.  The deep sadness will be manageable one minute and then overwhelming in the next.  My bone ache had been insurmountable at times and flowing from the front of my shoulders into my wrists while my hands throb with ache.  Then add my sciatic nerve pain down both legs and this bubble of gas in my stomach that will not release and continues to cause me to shift this way and then that to locate some position where things do not cause me discomfort.  My imagery began to seep through yesterday, but I was too weak from all these psychosomatic pains to begin the journaling process.  Today I had lunch and the kiddos were so entertaining, and the laughter lifted my spirits and then they will be coming over Saturday afternoon to help me at the house.  My ride home however was gloomy and full of despair, and I arrived here with a sadness even more intense than I had experienced in this process up to this moment.  I fell asleep for a few hours due to the exhaustion caused by the pain and then woke wishing that I had a pizza like my daughters ordered the last time they had been here.