JOURNAL ENTRY: THE QUILTED DYNAMICS OF AN AMNESIC BOX 2026

 

A dissociative fugue or a reminiscent moment of hysterical strength stayed hidden deep in my psyche and well into the amnesic box.  Yet, residual flashes of thoughts of entropy plagued my consciousness.  It was like believing that I existed between raindrops and could not fathom why I kept getting wet as that gap of dry existence closed and another drop impacted me.  In that moment I was juggling my three universes of existence.  My consciousness was the wall of projection, then my subconsciousness was a flickering spotlight attempting to illuminate that revolving mirror of co-existence and finally my amnesic box acted like a strobe light out of rhythm and attempting to hide all imagery of the forcibly forgotten.  I had seen so many dead bodies by this time in my life though I recalled none in my conscious tapestry of life.  Robert dismembered and burned then buried his victims in front of me numerous times.  Those two aspects of my horrors resonated like the thread used to sew this quilt of death, but I lost visual components due to the stitching method.  My mammy and nana used the ‘stitch in the ditch’ technique when she made family quilts and it made the patch work seamless.  Following their hems and contours as I studied their works at times made me feel that their quilts had not been stitched at all but where glued works with no rigidity.