JOURNAL ENTRY: FLASHBACK SWELL MY FEET 2026

 

My stomach has churned like I am filled with a hot swill of toxic debris, and I have had explosive issues due to this.  My left foot had swollen to a huge circumference and had three shades of red color.  Deep red from the toes up to the ankle bone, then light red almost pink followed by a basic red from above the ankle up to the creased impression from where the band of my sock bound against my leg.  I want to go turn myself into the Emergency Room in Rockwall.  The last Dr. was just awesome, and I want him to put me up for the night in a room.  I want to complete my MRI a colonoscopy and an upper endoscopy.  I also need that blood for the pulmonary doctor.  My aged body is not doing well with these flashbacks.  I marvel at how I am still alive.  I am here now since a part of me deep in the well of my despair where I used to hide as a boy.  Feels as if I defended this girl at some point and my tears had to do with the loss of the girl not the traumatic gruesomeness of the crime scene.